What Is the Difference Between Situationships & Friends with Benefits?

What is a situationship?

A situationship is a romantic connection centered around a specific scenario. There are many types of situationships, but what all of the different types have in common is that they aren’t defined. Situationships aren’t labeled. Partners are intimate, but there’s a lack of obligation or exclusivity—there’s no clear boundary or label. For example, that someone special you meet over summer break at the beach but never speak to again once school starts is a situationship. While the ambiguity of a situationship can be exciting, it may also cause anxiety and stress.

Situationship Signs

Situationships lack boundaries and are superficial. While there are many kinds of situationships, most of these relationships share these characteristics: No labels or exclusivity. The relationship is never defined by either party. You’re never “girlfriend,” “boyfriend,” or “partner.” No clear boundaries. The relationship isn’t defined, so it can be difficult to establish boundaries about wants and needs. Irregular or superficial contact. Those in a situationship likely only talk or reach out to one another when the right scenario comes around. Communication is sporadic. Lack of integration. In a situationship, both parties don’t include each other in their personal lives. The connection doesn’t go beyond those involved. Zero growth. The relationship stays stagnant in a situationship. It doesn’t grow or expand into something that could grow into a long-term partnership.

What is a friends-with-benefits relationship?

A friends-with-benefits relationship consists of friends who hook up. A friends-with-benefits (FWB) relationship is exactly what it sounds like—a pair of friends with sexual benefits. With this relationship, there are no strings attached. You’re sexually available for each other without being in a strict, exclusive relationship. Unlike random hookups, you get to know the other person intimately because you see each other regularly. For example, regularly hooking up with a friend and having no expectation for an emotional connection beyond what’s physical is an FWB relationship. FWB relationships can be slippery slopes, as it can be easy for both parties to attract feelings for one another that go beyond physical pleasure.

Friends with Benefits Rules

Friends with benefits relationships need ground rules to prevent misunderstandings. Boundaries are incredibly important in FWB relationships as they can provide both parties with clarity to avoid miscommunications. In other words, making sure you’re on the same page before indulging in the relationship is key. Here are the rules: Understand that the relationship is not exclusive. Jealous behavior can hinder an FWB relationship. FWBs are free to see anyone they like (unless discussed otherwise). Avoid catching feelings. The joy of an FWB is you can care about each other and be physically intimate without growing romantically attached. Talk openly. Communication is key with FWB relationships. Discuss your wants, needs, and boundaries before diving in. Know you can end the relationship at any time. There are no strings attached with an FWB, so it’s okay to end the physical intimacy if a long-term partner is found or the sexual tension fizzles out.

Situationship vs. FWB: Similarities & Differences

Similarities Satisfaction: Situationships and FWBs allow you to choose which part of a relationship you want to indulge in. You can get physical without having to commit. No labels: Situationships and FWBs don’t have labels, making them undefined and ambiguous relationships. Heartbreak: Both situationships and FWBs can be risky and cause heartbreak. Friends with benefits often lack depth, and situationships can start and end abruptly.

Differences Rules: Friends-with-benefits relationships have general rules for parties to follow—there’s a clear set of boundaries. Situationships often lack this. Situational: Situationships are centered around a shared experience or common situation. On the other hand, a friends-with-benefits relationship can happen at any point in a friendship. Emotional involvement: FWB relationships focus less on emotional connection and more on physical intimacy, whereas situationships often form from an emotional connection that stems from a situational commonality. Exclusivity: Exclusivity can be fuzzy for situationships. Depending on the scenario, it could be implied that a situationship is supposed to be exclusive for the time being. FWBs are non-exclusive and encourage parties to explore relationships with others.

What Relationship Are You In?

Are you in a friends-with-benefits relationship? If you’re in a FWB relationship, chances are you started out as friends and then engaged in non-committed sex. You likely had a discussion about keeping the nature of your “relationship” quiet and set some ground rules about how to be physically intimate moving forward.

Are you in a situationship? If you’re in a situationship, it’s very likely that the relationship started quickly and suddenly. You didn’t discuss the relationship before it started, and you or your partner probably can’t (or won’t) put a label on it. There are few to no boundaries, and you may find your overall feelings for them confusing and situational. Still unsure whether or not you’re in a situationship? Take our quiz!

Are situationships or FWB relationships bad?

No, situationships and FWB relationships aren’t bad! These relationships aren’t inherently good or bad—it all depends on your perceptions and experiences. Situationships and FWB relationships can be fulfilling, or they can be frustrating. They work for some and don’t work for others. At the end of the day, follow your needs and do what’s best for you.