How to Convince Your Mom to Get Your Ears Pierced

Taking Preliminary Action

Read up on how to take care of pierced ears. If your mom sees that you're knowledgeable about how to care for pierced ears, she may be more comfortable with the idea. Read up on aftercare for pierced ears. Show your mom you will care for your pierced ears and will not end up with an infection from the procedure. Tell your mom you will get gold earrings, as these are less likely to cause infection than metal varieties. Let your mom know you will clean your earlobes each day for 6 weeks after the procedure. Tell your mom you will wash your hands first, apply saline solution onto a cotton swab, and gently wash your ears. Let her mom know you're aware of the risks and know how best to prevent infections and the like.

Think of good reasons you want earrings. If your mom is more laid back, something like, "I just think they'll look nice" may be reason enough for her. However, many parents will have reservations about pierced ears. Try to think of a reason you want pierced ears that will appeal to your mom. Talk about your own self confidence. You could say something like, "I would feel like I could express myself with earrings. I could wear earrings to show my personality, which could help me feel more confident." You could also try something like, "I know all the female guests at cousin April's wedding will be wearing a specific type of earring. I thought it would be a nice treat for her if I could participate in that too." Avoid reasons like, "Everyone else is doing it," as your mom is unlikely to be swayed by this. Whatever your reason, make sure it's sincere. Don't say you feel earrings will build your self confidence if they won't, for example. You want to be honest with your mom, as this shows maturity. If you appear mature, your mom is more likely to say, "Yes."

Consider talking to a friend with earrings. Do you have a friend with pierced ears? If so, you could ask him or her how to convince your mom. Your friend likely had this same conversation, and may be able to offer special insight on how to get the answer you want. Choose a friend with parents with somewhat similar values to yours. If you ask a friend with considerably more laid back parents, for example, the discussion may not have been as difficult for your friend.

Think about how to have the conversation. Before going into the conversation, think about what you'll say. Spend a lot of time considering what you want out of the conversation. This will help things stay on track when you talk to your mom. On the surface, you want to get permission to get your ears pierced. However, think of other, deeper wants in this conversation. You want to be able to grow up a little, and make your own decisions. You want your mom to trust that you're responsible. You should also go into the conversation wanting to listen to your mom's side. Remember, a conversation is a two way street. You should be prepared to listen to your mom's perspective, even if it's not something you want to hear.

Talking to Your Parents

Approach your mom at the right time. Before the conversation, figure out when your mom is usually free. Also, think about where you would feel most comfortable talking. If you have a lot of siblings, for example, you may not want to talk in living room where your brothers usually play video games. You may, instead, want to talk in your bedroom, where there are less distractions. Figure out a time when your mom is home and not busy. For example, maybe she usually has free time on Wednesday night just after dinner. Be a little flexible, however, as schedules are subject to change. Think of several times that you could potentially approach your mom. When you find the right time, you can start the conversation with something simple. Say something like, "Mom, can I ask you about something?"

Be direct and honest. If you want your mom to trust you, she needs to believe what you say. Tell her sincerely why you want earrings. Also, be direct about this. Avoid beating around the bush and, instead, just make your case without hesitation. State outright what you want to talk about. Say something like, "Mom, I really want to get my ears pierced and I was hoping to get your permission." From there, give an honest reason as to why you want your ears pierced. For instance, "I just think it would look really nice, and it would be a great way to expand my style and express myself more. I think I would feel a little better about myself if I could pick out earrings that show who I am."

Listen to your mom's perspective. You do not want to dominate the conversation This will make you look argumentative and, therefore, immature. If you want your mom to listen, strive to hear her side too. Even if she's saying something you don't like, take the time to listen before you respond. Your mom may have a lot of reasons for not wanting you to get your ears pierced. She may think you're too young. She may worry it's too expensive. Whatever her reason, try to listen. Tell her you understand. You want your mom to feel like you heard what she was saying. You can respond with something simple like, "I understand that you think I'm a little young for this."

Avoid arguing or whining. You can let your mom know why you disagree with her, or push for some kind of compromise. However, you should avoid outright complaining. Do not whine, beg, or argue with your mom if she says, "No" or expresses hesitance. This is unlikely to get her to agree. For example, don't say something like, "Of course I'm old enough! All the girls in school have their ears pierced. Sarah's mom let her do it. Please!" Instead, offer a mature response. Try saying, "I get that you think I'm a little young for this, but a lot of girls my age do have their ears pierced. My friend Sarah's been pretty good at caring for her piercings, and I've been reading up on how to care for mine. I do think I could be responsible about it, even though I'm a little young."

Dealing with Setbacks

Look for a compromise. Your mom may be hesitant to let you get your ears pierced, especially if she's stricter. However, the two of you may be able to compromise. If your mom says no for now, talk to her about a possible compromise. If she has not provided it, ask your mom why she's saying, "No." Once you figure out the reason, try to think of a reasonable compromise. For example, say your mom is worried about cost. In this case, you could offer to pay for half the costs of the piercings with money from your paper route. If you mom is worried you're too young, see if she'd be willing to agree to let you get your ears pierced after your next birthday.

Accept a "No" at first. If you're unable to compromise, accept no for an answer for the time being. If you maturely accept you mom's decision, this will reflect well on you. In the future, your mom may be inclined to let you have a bit more freedom regarding your personal choices. You can end the conversation by saying something like, "I understand. You don't want me to get them pierced right now, and that's fine. Thank you for listening anyway." You should always leave these kinds of discussions on a good note. This will leave you and your mom feeling positive about what transpired.

Try again in the future. If it's a no for now, there's not much you can do. However, wait a few months and raise the issue again. If you've been responsible and respectful, your mom may have changed her decision. Ask just as respectfully the first time as you did the second time. Again, do not be surprised if the answer is still, "No." Be willing to accept this.