Comment on something on their profile.
Let your match know you're paying attention to them. If you’re struggling to come up with an opener, take another look at your match’s bio. Do they mention any hobbies you also enjoy, or is there a photo you’d like to know more about? Ask them about it! Here are some examples: “I love your taste in music! What’s the best concert you’ve been to?” “I see you like to read. Do you have any book recommendations?” “Your dog is so cute! What’s his name?” “You have your own restaurant? That’s so cool! What’s that like?” “You're a Scorpio? Me too! When’s your birthday?” Relationship expert Lauren Sanders says, “The best thing to message a match on a dating app is something you read on their profile. This will let them know you are truly interested in getting to know them and will let them know you pay attention to details.”
Tell a joke or a pun.
Make your match laugh to break the ice. Sure, some people might roll their eyes at a good pun, but the right person for you will appreciate your sense of humor. Pull out your best dad jokes, one-liners, or puns and give it a shot! If you’re feeling stuck, try one of these examples: “I tell dad jokes but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.” “Are you the lottery? Because I’m delusional and think I’ve got a chance.” “I don’t normally share my fries, but for you I might make an exception.” “Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.” “I used to be able to play the piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.”
Compliment them.
Give your match a confidence boost to get the conversation flowing. When it comes to dating, being direct is usually the best option. Why pretend you’re not interested in someone after you matched? Give them a compliment to let them know you’re attracted to them and admire their talents or personality. Here are some examples: “Your eyes are really beautiful, and I just had to tell you.” “You play the guitar? That’s awesome! I bet you’re really talented.” “Whoa, your paintings are amazing! You’re an incredible artist.” “I really love your style! All the outfits in your photos are so cool.” “You have a gorgeous smile!”
Say something flirty.
Let your match know you’re attracted to them with a cute message. Be confident and playfully tease them to show interest. Your match will probably be flattered, and if things go well, they’ll flirt back! Don’t be too suggestive or sexual, however, as this could make them uncomfortable. Here are some ideas for what you could say: “I think you’re really cute and funny. That’s it.” “Want to try to explain the rules of football to me? I’ll buy the drinks.” “Well, I guess we both have good taste since we matched.” “I think we looked pretty good together on the match screen. What do you think?” “I can’t believe we’ve known each other for a minute and still haven’t exchanged numbers.”
Ask a quirky, fun question.
Set yourself apart from other matches with a creative opener. Your match has probably heard your best pick-up line before, so if you want to get a response, try asking them something they don’t hear often. They’ll probably play along, and you’re sure to have an interesting conversation. Try one of these examples: “If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would they be? And no, you can’t ask for more wishes.” “Do you think you could beat a shark in a fight?” “If you were magically teleported into the last TV show you watched, would you survive?” “What would you do in a zombie apocalypse?” “What would you do if your cat spoke English one day?”
Ask them a deep question.
Find out more about who your match is and what they like. When we say deep, we don’t necessarily mean you have to ask them every little detail about their childhood. Instead, ask them something that lets you understand their personality or background a bit more. Try one of these questions: “I see you’re originally from Montana. What made you decide to move here?” “If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?” “Who is your biggest role model?” “In your bio, you mentioned you’re close with your dad. What’s one of your favorite memories with him?” “What’s a new skill or hobby you’d like to learn?”
Be direct and ask them out.
Take things off the app if you want to meet them in person. If you’re not into small talk and would prefer to set up a date, or even if you’re just looking for a hookup, be upfront. As long as you’re polite and respectful, your match will probably respect your decision to not beat around the bush. Here are some ways to ask them out: “I think you’re really attractive and would love to get to know you better. Would you like to meet up for coffee this weekend?” “To be completely honest, I’m just looking for something casual right now. Is that something you’re interested in?” “I’m not the best at online dating. Wanna skip the small talk and grab dinner?” “Hey! Any chance you’d be down to be my wedding date this weekend?” “I know the best place to grab sushi. Want to check it out?” Relationship expert Laura Bilotta notes that “To make a strong connection, it's important to be yourself and show your personality. Avoid trying to be someone you're not, as this can come across as insincere or dishonest. Instead, be authentic and genuine, and let your personality shine through in your messages.”
Use a pick-up line.
Show off your cheesy side and make your match laugh. Yes, pick-up lines are corny, but there’s a reason they’re so popular. You can show your match you’re interested, then put the ball in their court. They can choose if they want to play along or switch to a new topic. Either way, you’ve opened the door for a conversation. Try out one of the pick-up lines below: “Are you my appendix? Because you give me a weird, tingly feeling and I kind of want to take you out.” “Your eyes are like the ocean. I could swim in them all day.” “Are you a bank loan? Because you’ve got my interest.” “So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living?” “I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring your own snacks.”
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