Im a being who is human

Understanding of GodAs a seven-year-old child living with my grandparents, God, for me, was a play thing. We made small clay statues and carried them around during pujas like they did in my small town (gobichettipalayam) for village deities. To me as a boy, God was to be feared like village guardian gods (kaval deivam). Later, I saw God as a friend and as my inner consciousness with whom I was always in conversation. Spiritual beliefsGod has been a guide in my artistic career in the form of nature. So, nature became my teacher. The guidance I received for becoming an artist made me feel as if an invisible finger was moving me in a particular direction in my life. It also brought my wife into my life.  Invariably, I understood that God is within.Spiritual practicesAt a certain point of time, I became more spiritual than religious. And the concept of following a particular deity or a god man ended with the sudden death of my wife. I was left with a large void and was led to discover that single most, absolute truth: I am not a human being but rather a being who is human. All other things are merely a play of ego. Presently, I am on a journey towards what we call zero or nothingness in space. As an artist painting for the past 35 years, I have  discovered that the space between the forms is painting, the silence between notes is music and the silence between two words is poetry. Ultimately, I have discovered  silence and space and still continue to journey towards it.Pilgrimage sitesI have spent months together sitting at the Madurai Meenakshi Amman temple, sketching the sculptures and discovering myself as an artist. Other temples I have visited are Palani, Tirupati and Kasi.(AV Ilango is a reputed artist in Chennai )