Cancer is only a bend in the road

BANGALORE: “I am suffering from cancer.” How do you react to the statement? Eh! ahem! A clearing of throat, unsure smiles and a polite ‘I hope you get well’? Or may be look mournful? In an attempt to laugh at the paradoxes of life after cancer, a group of cancer survivors are coming together to perform a play, essentially to dispel the death tag associated with the disease.When IAS officer Dr Keerthi Tewari was diagnosed with breast cancer the fear of death all consuming. She fought with the disease and  a survivor. “The fear of cancer is very strong. Everybody fears it. And who can we really discuss it with. Nobody comes forward to say we are suffering from cancer. Is it the fear of death? Is it shame? Frankly, I don’t know.”During the treatment, how did she deal with people at the workplace. “They were all very supportive. But yes, there is so much of a change physically during the treatment period that conversations are not very comfortable.”It was during this time that she met Roopa Venkatesh, another cancer survivor. Along with a few other women cancer survivors, they came together with the desire to talk to somebody. To talk themselves into believing about survival. About life after cancer and not life before death. “We started out as a group of five women. Today, we are 200 strong group,” says Tewari.“This support is required. Doctors do not inspire confidence even when they assure us that everything is alright. But, meeting a survivor makes a big difference,” she explains. Roopa Venkatesh, who has written a best seller on her battle with cancer, says that meeting a survivor is a life changer for those undergoing treatment. “Now, when we interact with women who are being treated for cancer, they can’t believe that they are talking to survivors. The living proof that the battle can be won. Of the look of surprise, joy and hope on faces is not something I can describe,” she says. But, the women soon realised that the fear of cancer is more dreadful than the disease itself. Even members in their own group have not disclosed the diagnosis or treatment to members of their family. “Either the children know but the husband does not know. Or the husband knows but the family does not. Or the family knows but the society does not. Definitely there is stigma. A sense of  hopelessness is created. The problem is that  bad news travels very fast but success stories are not shared enough,” she says.She speaks about the terrible myths wherein the parents’ disease is not disclosed fearing that marriage of children may be affected. The ladies vehemently decry such myths. “At this rate, should we be asking for DNA testing,” they ask. Roopa shares her painful memories: “I lost my grandmother to cancer. Later my sister died of cancer. When I was diagnosed with the disease, it was a difficult time. But, I told myself I will fight. I promised myself that I will not put my parents through the pain of losing a child again. And I survived.”The experiences have only made them stronger.  Some of the survivors have gone scuba diving, sky diving and para gliding. But no platitudes or sermons for them, please.  They want to laugh. So, they decided to increase awareness through a play. “When the Lalit Ashok came forward to sponsor the venue and other expenses, that is when we thought we will raise funds for those suffering from cancer. We want to take this play to hospitals. spread the message,” says Roopa.  We wish them luck.