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“Choosing the Bear” Meaning
It’s the answer most women gave to the man vs bear question. The man vs. bear question is, “Would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a man?” The question is primarily targeted at women and asks if they would feel safer if they were alone with a bear or a random man. It’s not about the threat of bears in the forest. It’s about the dangers women face living among men. The question is meant to highlight women’s perception of danger by giving them a fictional choice to see what their first response would be. For the most part, the question was asked and answered in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek manner with the reasons women would choose a bear over a man being more serious. The man vs. bear question was intended as a hypothetical situation to help explain how women feel in the presence of men.
Origin & Spread of “Choose the Bear”
“Choose the Bear” started as a TikTok post by @callmebkbk. On March 19, 2024, @callmebkbk posted a video where he explained why it was understandable that a woman would choose a bear over a random man if she were alone in the woods. In one month, the post got 2.3 million views and 340,700 likes. @callmebkbk was responding to a comment on an unknown post. Later that day, another TikTok user @thottimami69420 shared a post stating that she would choose the bear and gave her reasons why. Her post got 4.2 million views and 1.1 million likes in a month.
A @screenshothq post showed 7 out of 8 women choosing the bear. This video post is of a street interview where 8 women are asked, “Would you rather me stuck in a forest with a man or a bear?” Seven out of the eight women in the video answered they would choose the bear with little or no hesitation. This post went viral, getting over 14 million views and 2 million likes in 3 weeks.
Comedian Leslie Jones posted the TikTok video to X. Jones made her post in April 2024, stating that she would also choose the bear. The man vs. bear question went on to go viral on X, with more and more people sharing their opinions on that platform.
Media began to report on the trend in late April 2024. Stories on the man vs. bear question appeared on the parenting and motherhood blog Scary Mommy and on the Today show’s website. In May and June of 2024, stories began to show up on even more high-profile media outlets, like USA Today, the Washington Post, and CNN.
Why Women “Choose the Bear”
Women theorized the worst a bear would do is kill them. Most women who responded to the questions gave their reasons. These reasons focused on how the bear would act vs. how the man would act and how society reacts to bear attacks vs. gender-based violence. A few of the responses to the original @screenshothq street interview video included: “"No one’s gonna ask me if I led the bear on or give me a pamphlet on bear attack prevention tips.” - @celestiallystunning “bear won't traffic me” - @stephanieedd “Worst thing bear can do is kill me” - @mattislikesrain “People would believe me if I was attacked by a bear” - @laxsrn “bears don't lock you in a basement” - @lemons9678 “a bear people aren't gonna ask me what I was wearing when it attacked me????” - @imnot.rude “A bear wouldn’t attack me & then tell his friends that I liked it” - @zoe.ebarb
Some women shared that both bears and men had attacked them. These women went on to state they would still choose the bear. They had experienced both sides of the question because they lived near bears or enjoyed solo outdoor activities like hunting, biking, or hiking. They related that there are strategies for dealing with bears because bears are usually predictable. One woman stated the man vs. bear question was really, “Are you afraid of men?” She then related that she didn’t feel afraid, but she was always vigilant when she ran into a man in the wilderness.
Men Respond to “Choose the Bear”
Some men accused women of misandry or focused on bear attacks. In some cases, these critics called the question an excuse to show hatred toward men. Others responded with mocking comments or violent drawings portraying how a bear could hurt a woman. A few men reacted to women’s answers to the hypothetical question with explanations about how dangerous different types of bears are. A few examples of comments included: “Y’all the regular man isn’t a grapist ????????????” - @big_randy694200 “U wouldn’t have to see the man at family reunions either and bold of u to assume you’d have a chance of surviving the bear there’s a video on YouTube with the recorded dying screams of being mauled” - @mahdi.a42 “Clearly never seen a hungry grizzly bear in person” - @rods.22 “Go watch the bear scene from the revenant it will change all of your minds????” - @zombie_eat_me “whoever picks the bear has never lived in an area populated by bears and it shows by their arguments” - @sabthealien “the chances are only lower on the bear bc there are less bear encounters” - @lucas_70910 “The point is, you have no idea what you are taling about. If really you'll have to choose, i'm pretty sure you'll choose the man” - @kipitilnick “Fr it’s 10x better to have your lungs ripped out as you are still alive it’s just the obvious answer” - @_kaze_999
Other men were supportive or also “chose the bear.” In some TikTok videos, women asked men if they would leave their daughters in the woods with a man or a bear. The men had a hard time answering the question but ended up choosing the bear as well. A few comments from supportive men were: “I get that, you know what to expect from a bear.” - @miksa8vgr “All I can promise you ladies is I’m raising sons who you can choose over the bear. ????????” “Definitely a bear” - @born2beslicker “Man here, and I'd also rather be stuck in the forest with a bear. Humans are unpredictable. I know the bear will attack eventually so I'll never trust it. A human might gain my trust and then attack” - @user034748786 “As a man, I completely agree with these answers” - @orthodoxkid_ “A bear.. bears tend to mind their business.” - @wewuzneverhere
“Choose the Bear” Cultural Significance
The question evolved into a discussion about violence against women. Women talked about how they are taught to go places in groups and put keys between their fingers to make a weapon to stay safe at night. Not only does this lead to a mistrust of men, but it also puts responsibility for a crime on the victim instead of the criminal. Other sexual assault avoidance advice that’s often targeted toward women includes: Don’t wear headphones when jogging. Don’t wear a ponytail because they’re easy to grab. Look under and in the back seat of your car before you get in. Always pour your own drink at a party and bring it with you to the bathroom. Only check in on social media apps when you leave a location. When you move into a new home, check for hidden cameras. Take self-defense classes.
Many people shared statistics about violence against women. Many women and a few men felt this was a good opportunity to raise awareness of violence against women. The statistics illustrated why women thought of strange men as more dangerous than bears. Here are a few examples of the types of information shared: 1 out of every 6 women in the US has been the victim of an attempted or completed sexual assault in her lifetime. 82% of all victims under the age of 18 are female. About half (51.1%) of female victims of sexual assault reported their attacker was an intimate partner, and 40.8% was an acquaintance. Approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men 18 years of age or older experience domestic violence.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499891/
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