- Communicate honestly and clearly; use your words to encourage him, tell him you love him, and apologize whenever you make a mistake.
- Take the time to do little favors for him, get into the hobbies he enjoys, or get to know his friends.
- Respect each other's independence: remain secure and hold your head up high, let him pursue his own passions, and be chill with him hanging out with his buddies.
- Make time for romance and quality bonding together. Save at least one day a week for each other to hang out or try something new and fun.
Remind him you adore him on a daily basis.
Use every day as an opportunity to express love and affection. Seriously. Though your man might act like he's not super mushy, if you're both at the "I love you" stage, don't forget to tell him that you love him every day. Show him that you mean it by giving him warm eye contact, lots of TLC, and plenty of sweet words. Remember, each time you remind him of your love, you add some extra magic to your relationship. Mix up how you say "I love you," though: for example, ruffle his hair, kiss his cheek, and exclaim, "I'd do anything for you! It's unreal how much I adore you."
Give him plenty of praise and encouragement.
When you’re his biggest cheerleader, his heart and pride will swell. If you want your man to know that you love him, cheer him on to achieve his goals every day, whether they are big or small. Being there to support and praise all his limitless potential the night before a big exam or a job interview will show him how much you care and want him to succeed. If he's not feeling confident, list all of the things that make him great, and all of the reasons that he'll succeed. If he has a big event coming up, leave him a sweet note to wish him luck. Push him to do something out of his comfort zone. If he wants to train for a marathon but isn't sure that he can do it, you can tell him that he can accomplish anything if he really puts his mind to it. EXPERT TIP Elvina Lui, MFT Elvina Lui, MFT Marriage & Family Therapist Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model. Elvina Lui, MFT Elvina Lui, MFT Marriage & Family Therapist Understand his insecurities. Marriage and Family Therapist, Elvina Lui, tells us: "Unlike females, his insecurities would more likely be around his competence and his career rather than his appearance. See if he has insecurities coming from his parents not being absolutely proud of him, and have his back when it comes to things like that."
Focus on healthy and effective communication.
When you talk everything out, he’ll know you’re really invested in him. Communication is key in any relationship. Speak about your needs and feelings honestly and clearly and allow your partner to do the same. Taking the time to check in and make sure that you're on the same page will help your relationship grow even stronger. Here are some ways to accomplish that: Avoid arguing or raising your voice. Instead, calmly state your perspective and any ways you've been impacted by a situation. For example, say, "I've been feeling really lonely lately. Can we spend more weekends together, babe?" Be a good listener. A healthy relationship's all about reciprocity, so take the time to slow down and understand your boyfriend's perspective instead of interrupting and focusing on your own feelings. Pick the right time and place. If you have something important to discuss, wait for the right moment when you both have an opportunity to sit down and have a serious talk. EXPERT TIP Elvina Lui, MFT Elvina Lui, MFT Marriage & Family Therapist Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model. Elvina Lui, MFT Elvina Lui, MFT Marriage & Family Therapist You can't overdo it on empathy. Marriage and Family Therapist, Elvina Lui, tells us: "Make him feel safe by validating his feelings. Even if you had to give him negative feedback, do it from a place of empathy instead of criticism, so he knows you are on his side. Keep in mind he probably expects more respect than your girlfriends and sisters do, so do not poke fun at things he feels insecure about."
Be open to compromises that make him happy.
If you’re okay with some give and take, he’ll know he has your heart. You can show your boyfriend that you care by making it clear that being happy is more important than being right. When you and your boyfriend learn how to work together to make decisions, whether they're big or small, you'll create a lasting dynamic based on patience and respect. Factor both of your needs into any choices you make and you'll both feel like you're honoring one another. Before a big decision, sit down with your man and write down all of the pros and cons of your two plans. Discuss which plan is best overall, and which will make you both as happy as possible. Take turns, even on the small things. For example, if you picked the dinner location on your date, let him pick the movie.
Apologize when you mess up.
Admit to slip-ups to prove you’re always willing to make things right. If you want your man to know how much you love him, then acknowledge whenever you're wrong or feel the need to make amends. If you've made a mistake, let him know how truly sorry you are by being completely sincere and assuring him that you empathize with how he's feeling. Your willingness to be humble and patch everything up will let him know you want a solid relationship. Also be willing to accept his apologies. When he realizes you don't hold grudges, it'll give him a ton of relief and faith in your amazing level of compassion.
Send him tons of heartwarming texts.
Surprise him with cute messages to lift his spirits. Help your man get through his daily grind with an extra sweet text. Remember—a little admiration and acknowledgment goes a long way when reaching out to your guy. Just let inspiration strike and follow your heart. Whatever you ping him will be the perfect pick-me-up to impress your boyfriend. As inspo, try out endearing comments like: “Just wanted to let you know I love you more and more every day! ????” “I still have the hugest crush on you. ???? I feel so lucky to be dating you.” “Hey, you! I know you’ll knock it out of the park and make today amazing.☀️”
Give him all your focus when he talks.
Offer him your full attention to show him he’s your whole world. Whenever you’re around him, be super engaged—put away your phone, lock eyes with him, and smile. Ask him how his day was and stick to any subject that he’s in the mood to talk about, from the mundane stuff to any big dreams of his. If you make him feel like the spotlight’s on him, he’ll swoon over you. This applies to texts, too, lovely: if he reaches out, then carefully read his message and respond thoughtfully. Those few extra minutes that you take can make a huge difference in his day. It can be a really vulnerable feeling for a guy—or anyone!—to open up about their ambitions, so make sure to give him lots of encouragement. For example, if he says he wants to get his pilot’s license, tell him to reach for the skies because it’s totally possible.
Dote on him with acts of service.
Do little favors for him to totally steal his heart. Any sweet gestures are a great way to show your man you adore him, especially when he's in a pinch. All the small ways you help out might seem pretty minor, but they'll definitely add up. Before you know it, he'll be placing you on a pedestal for being the ideal partner. Make him swoon with acts of service like: If he's having a busy day at work, bring him a really nice lunch. It'll add a little more joy to his shift. Do small chores around the house, like his laundry, especially during those times when he seems really exhausted. Cook him a nice big dinner when he's having a long and stressful day. All he'll have to do is enjoy it and do the dishes afterward (unless you're feeling super generous and feel up to doing those, too). Run small errands for him if he needs some help. If you're already going to the mall, offer to return one of his shirts for him.
Comfort him when he’s going through a hard time.
Support your SO through tough times so you’re his safe haven. Even if he acts like a real tough guy, if you ever notice that he’s stressed or frustrated, check in. Ask him if anything’s bothering him and if there are any ways that you can lighten his load. When he’s brave enough to immediately open up, thank him for being so transparent and honest. Reassure him that everything’s going to be just fine and that you’re a team. For example, make a comment like, “I notice that you’ve been really quiet since you’ve come home. Did anything happen at work? I’m here to listen.” If he wants some time to process his thoughts, tell him you understand, give him a big hug, and let him have some space. When he’s ready to address whatever’s bugging him, be available to hear him out. Celebrate him for his authenticity and willingness to share his struggles: “I feel so grateful that you always tell me what’s on your mind. We’ll figure this all out.”
Say if you need help so he can swoop in to save the day.
Let him be there for you, too—he’ll love being the guy you rely on. Boyfriends totally get an ego boost from playing the part of your romantic hero. So, whenever you’re in a bind, speak up. Be clear and specific so he knows exactly what he can do. Whether you need some cuddles, advice, or help around the house, if you ask sweetly and nicely, he’ll swell with pride that he gets to come to the rescue. If acts of service (like chores or errands), words of affirmation (like a pep talk before you give a big speech), or physical touch (like forehead kisses), tell him your love language so he can make it a priority to express it on the regular. To be extra persuasive, tell him why you need a specific kind of support: “I really like to snuggle and talk about my day in the evening because it helps me destress and stay upbeat.”
Be enthusiastic about what he's interested in.
When you learn about his world, he’ll know you’re always there for him. Listen closely to what he gets really excited about. Then, see if there’s any way you can jump in and get involved, at least on some small level. For example, if he’s really into basketball games, attend one with him, buy him tickets, or shoot some hoops with him. Take the time to show some love for his hobbies and interests and he’ll be seriously enchanted by you. Be open-minded and try to give something he loves a shot. If he raves about sushi but you’ve never tried it, go for a California roll and see if you like it. Just remember to maintain your identity, too. If there are some hobbies of his that aren’t really your cup of tea—maybe you’re not super into golf, for instance—just cheer him on and tell him you hope he has a good time.
Goof off and let loose with him.
Have a blast together so he knows he can always enjoy life with you. This is an important and exciting part of any thriving dynamic. A lot of guys consider their "bro time" to be the most fun and crazy time of their lives, and then come back to you, the sweet partner, expecting you to make them a delicious meal and help cure their hangovers. However, it's a lot more entertaining to rewrite that story and dazzle him with some tricks you have under your sleeve, like: Spending time with his buds every now and then. Show him you can let loose and be just the right amount of wild or laidback. Whether you go to a dive bar or a BBQ with them, turn on all your charisma and focus on having a blast. Breaking up his routines and taking him out on an adventure. For example, plan a camping trip. Tell him he can let his friends tag along, too. Get active with him. Tap into your zany inner child and hit up a laser tag joint or throw down a fun challenge and go rock climbing.
Hold your head up high and be super secure.
If you're extra confident, he'll celebrate having such a cool partner. To resist jealousy, just remember that your boyfriend chose you. While it’s understandable to feel really attached, try to just go with the flow and appreciate the relationship you have. When he talks to other people, practice positive reframing and remind yourself that he’s just enjoying an active social life. Chances are that you love hanging out with your friends, too! Keep up a friendly attitude and welcome anyone who comes into their life. As long as everyone upholds the golden rule to treat others the same way they’d want to be, everything should be just fine. Stay off his phone and his social media to prove that you trust your guy 100%.
Take the time to get to know his friends.
Be friendly with his buddies to show you care about his inner circle. You'll have a path straight to your man's heart if you're on extra good terms with his buds. Seriously. If his friends love you, then they'll actually want to hang out with you and ask for you to be a part of their lives. When your boyfriend sees you were such a hit, he’ll want to hold onto you for good. Take the time to get to know them and ask them about their lives. Show that you see them as individuals, not just as people who are associated with your boyfriend. Be understanding if there are some hang-outs that don’t really involve SOs. Appreciate that all his friends might want to kick back together and keep the vibe chill. If you give your boyfriend the space to catch up with his buddies on his own, he’ll appreciate he gets to have the best of both worlds: a great social circle and an awesome partner.
Honor each other’s independence.
Embrace that he has his own life to prove how much you respect him. Hey, it’s totally possible to be absolutely perfect for each other and still have different interests. Whether you’re in an “opposites attract” type of situation or just happen to enjoy your own hobbies, embrace that. For example, if he’s into poker but you’re not into that scene and would prefer to paint, go for it. It’ll actually keep the spark alive when you each pursue your passions and come back together later. Give him a chance to express what he’s into. He might actually like rom-coms—who knows? And if he doesn’t? Tell him that’s cool with you and you’ll go with your buddies. Go at a pace that’s comfortable for him. For example, if he wants to wait a few months until he meets your parents, reassure him that that’s totally fine. Show different sides of yourself and your interests to keep things fresh and engaging. For example, if he's used to you going to book clubs, casually mention you're into roller derby competitions, too.
Keep things positive.
Win him over and inspire him with your unstoppable optimism. Even if there are some ups and downs, focus on positive thinking and look on the bright side of everything. For example, if you’re both in a funk, point out you have an epic board game collection and pull one out to play. Your man will cherish the time he spends with you and see that it’s always a fun, uplifting experience. Make an effort to smile more. It will perk both you and your man up. Be goofy and show off your sense of humor. It really livens things up if you and your boyfriend can spend hours laughing together. Make a rule of thumb: for every complaint you have, mention at least 5 things you're excited about. Your infectious optimism lets your man know that you’ll always have a great time together.
Be adventurous together.
Try new things and your relationship will always be a fun journey. To avoid getting stuck in the same old routine, put on your cowboy boots and ride off into uncharted territory. OK, but in all seriousness—if you try new things and and go on adventures that take you out of your comfort zones, which will make you learn new things and grow together in the process. Plus, you’ll have a chance to make your honeymoon phase last forever and enjoy a never-ending fairy tale. Try hiking, mountain climbing, or just exploring nature together. If your guy doesn't like hiking, find an outdoorsy activity where he can show off his skills, like camping or biking. Try exotic foods together. Pick a restaurant that serves the cuisine of a country you've never even heard of, and indulge in the taste of unique cuisines together. Go on a getaway. This could mean taking a vacation to a fun and crazy spot, or just going in your car and driving for a couple of hours to check out a waterfall or a weird haunted house. You can even close your eyes and point to a map, and go wherever your finger falls. It's all about the journey here.
Make time for romance.
Pursue each other just like the good old days to keep love alive. If you want to keep your relationship fresh, then work to keep the spark alive. Make sure to spend at least one day each week hanging out and doing sweet and sentimental things together, such as cooking a meal or going out to a wine bar. If you’re always making an effort to date each other, you’ll stay smitten with one another. If you both dress up, you'll feel like the moment is even more special. There’s no need to be mushy during your "date night" if that’s not how you two like to enjoy yourselves. Just express yourselves in a natural way, whether that means flirting up a storm or getting swept away with thought-provoking talks.
Set aside some real quality time for each other.
Create special moments that allow you to tighten your bond. Look, we get it—if you’re in a long-term relationship, then it’s easy to fall into a predictable rhythm. It might even feel comfy and reassuring. Still, if it seems like the two of you are just going through the motions, like a quick hug in the morning and a kiss goodnight, take that as a sign to invest more time in your dynamic. Chat about what works best for the both of you. Whether that means a few uninterrupted hours together every evening or a weekly day night, you’ll find the perfect recipe for success and closeness. Make sure both of you get your needs met. For example, if you like to chat but your boyfriend enjoys some quiet downtime, strike a balance by watching a movie together. You both get lost in the flick, then discuss all its plot points later.
Treat him to lots of physical affection.
Give him extra nourishing TLC to feed his heart and soul. One of the best parts of a relationship is all the lovin’ you get from your main squeeze! To give him the warm fuzzies, wrap your arms around him and give him a peck on the cheek when he least expects it. When he gets that little treat during some random moment, like when he’s studying or playing video games, it’ll reinforce how awesome it is to have a SO. In fact, studies show that kisses and hugs literally have “healing energy”—they can lower your blood pressure and boost your immune system. So, pucker up and cozy up, you two love birds!
Keep things fresh in the bedroom.
Seduce him with all sorts of techniques to totally blow his mind. Another way to show your man your love is to spice up your love life. You shouldn't have sex just because he wants to, but because you're excited to get it on with your man. Let him know how much you want to make love and turn your relationship into a total fantasy by: Make love in new positions and new places. The bed isn't the only place where you can get frisky. If you're in the mood, get wild on your couch, on your floor, or even in a secluded location. This will make the process feel juicier and “taboo.” He’ll definitely see how committed you are to keeping the fire alive. Try out some sexy alter-egos. Put on cute little outfits and switch up your seduction style—be take-charge and assertive sometimes, then be a little cheeky and coy. Appeal to the 5 senses for a magical evening—turn on some romantic music, put on your signature scent, serve up some champagne, and softly caress your lover.
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