- Consider responding to a drunk friend's text by pretending to be drunk as well.
- You can also send the same message over and over to drive your drunk friend crazy.
- Mimicking the voice of an automated message could be an especially silly way to mess with a drunk person over text.
“I’m right behind you!”
Tell your friend you see them so they think you’re in the room. If you know they’re out at a bar or party from social media, tell them you’re right outside or behind them to really confuse them. This one works great whether you’re actually planning to meet up or you’re on the other side of the country. You: “Hey! Turn around, I’m behind you at the bar!!” Them: “Where!? I don’t see you” You: “Literally right here! I’m waving at you” Them: “WHERE!?” You: “GOTCHA I’m not there yet. See you soon”
“Im’a dkrun tooo!”
Act drunk to fool your friend into thinking you’re on their level. Send them some Kindergarten-level typos or nonsense messages. This is a fun way to tease them for a slew of drunk texts they sent or to just to get them hyped for no reason. Use an online drunk text translator to drunkify messages for you, or just fake a drunk text the old fashioned way. Them: “hepy what are you up to” You: “i'm drunck broo!” Them: “really?? wherle? let's hang out!” You: “No not really. Go to bed lol”
“I think so!” “I think so!” “I think so!”
Send them the same thing over and over until they can’t take it anymore. Think of a vague phrase that can apply to a lot of situations and keep sending it to them no matter what they say (without any explanation). Your already confused drunk friend will be even more befuddled and do their best to get to the bottom of it—with hilarious results. Them: “Are you coming to Corcoran's?” You: “I think so!” Them: “Yaay! Are u taking the rtain?” You: “I think so!” Them: “Let’s ride together!” You: “I think so!” Them: “what??” You: “I think so!” Them: “you think hwat!!?”
“I don’t see anything…”
Edit an eerie ghost into the background of a photo you send them. This one takes a little technical skill, but the result is worth it (there are also several apps that will do the work for you). They’ll be spooked (and won’t believe their own boozy eyes) when they see an otherworldly figure behind the cute selfie you shared. Amp up their confusion by pretending you can’t see it. Them: “Hey! Send me the photo of us from last weekend!” You: “Here it is!” Them: “OMG! What is that in the background!?” You: “What are you talking about?” Them: “That shadowy thing! It looks like a ghost!!” You: “I don’t see anything…it’s just a blank wall”
“This is Jan’s father.”
Trick them into thinking their text got read by the wrong person. Respond to a tipsy text about hooking up or some criminalizing act they’ve committed by pretending you’re someone else. Picture the last person they'd want to read their message and channel that response. They'll be mortified! Them: “Hey babe ;) wanna come over tonight?? I’m all drunk and alone ????” You: “This is Jan’s father. What exactly do you plan on doing with my daughter? This behavior is disgusting.” Them: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything disrespectful I swear!” You: “HAH gotcha. I’ll be over in 20”
“. . .”
Send a GIF of the “typing bubbles” to make them a little anxious. We all hate seeing that when we’re waiting for a response—why not draw out their torture a little bit? They’ll be wondering “what in the world are they typing!?” until you finally send them a text. This one is best served after a semi-serious question or statement. Them: “I think I’m finally gonna ask out Michelle tonight” You: “. . .” Them: “Hello!? Is that a bad idea!?” Them: “HELLO!?”
“Hello, it’s me…”
Open with song lyrics to start a deliciously confusing conversation. Choose a song where the lyrics could pass as actual messages from you (it doesn’t have to be super convincing—your friend is drunk, after all). Send the lyrics one line at a time and enjoy your friend struggling to figure out what the heck you’re talking about. “Hello” by Adele is the classic choice, but you can pick any song: You: “Somebody said you got a new friend” Them: “um lol sure. Who are you talking about?” You: “Does she love you better than I can?” Them: “What? I love you!!” You: “There’s a big black sky over my town” Them: “ok?? We’re in the same town and the weather is fine what is going on” You: “I know where you're at, I bet she's around” Them: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT” Them: “wait a second…”
“Thank you for subscribing…”
Sign them up for irritating mass text alerts. Politicians, activists, and plenty of organizations use text messaging to poll supporters and ask for money. Sign them up for something you know they’ll hate and watch them get confused (or if you’re not with them, imagine the look on their face). Since unsubscribing is easy, sign them up for multiple lists in one night to really mess with them. Subscriber alert: “Thank you for signing up for Glendale Glassblower’s Guild text alerts! Text GLASS for more info on classes in your area.” Them: “This is so random, I didn’t sign up for this!” Subscriber alert: “We’re glad you’ve joined Lycra Lovers text message alerts! Enjoy 20% off your next purchase with code LYCRA.” Them: “What is happening!?”
“Welcome to our rewards program!”
Pretend to be a bot and spam your drunk friend’s inbox. Draft a convincing marketing message for an organization or brand your friend hates (or make one up) and send it every time they reply to you. You can’t keep it up forever, but it’s fun to watch their frustration build. Them: “Hey, come out to Jessica’s birthday party!” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up for our rewards program. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!” Them: “what? This is Julie right???” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!” Them: “Julie?? I don’t use gillette. Unsubscribe!” You: “GILLETTE: Thank you for signing up. You will be the first to know about new products, giveaways & special projects. Stay tuned!”
“It’s time for your daily Cat Fact!”
We can thank Reddit for this classic text trolling maneuver. Set up a free texting number online (so your friend doesn’t recognize your contact info) and bombard them with feline facts without an option to unsubscribe. Most people recognize this prank by now, but it’s still fun to annoy your tipsy pal, especially if they’re the glued-to-their-phone-at-the-bar type. You can also use the Cat Facts app to take the dirty work off your hands.
Cat Facts: “Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about cats! Mee-wow!”
Them: “Stop”
Cat Facts: “Cats use their tails for balance and have nearly 30 individual bones in them!
“Oops, wrong person ”
”Accidentally” send a saucy message meant for someone else. Let them think it’s for them for a few minutes and wait to see if they take the bait. Be careful with this one—you don’t want to get their hopes up too much if you’re not really into them (they are in a gullible state, after all). If you are into them, this could be a chance to gauge their feelings toward you. You: “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do to you all day ????” Them: “lol what?” You: “I know you feel it too, don’t be coy ????” Them: “is this real?? Because if it is…????” You: “omg oops! Wrong person smh ????♀️ please disregard lol”
*silence*
Stop responding mid-conversation to playfully leave them hanging. It’s not the most creative prank, but it’ll definitely get them confused and annoyed. This one’s most effective if you’re in the middle of a juicy conversation or making plans (it’s also a good taste of their own medicine if they frequently ghost you when they’re drinking, too). You: “Ok let’s meet at the bar in 30 mins” Them: “yaaas! Which bar?” Them: “hey, which bar are we going to?” Them: “HELLO!?”
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