Clever Skinny Jokes
Roast your friends while simultaneously impressing them with your wit. Roasting is an art, kids. You can't just say, "Ha ha you are so skinny." This will impress no one. The trick to an elegant roast is to insult someone in a way that makes them chuckle (maybe even against their better judgment) and admire your massive intellect—all while knowing you mean no actual harm. "You have to shower in a T pose so you don't fall into the drain." "You must be great at hide and seek—you can disappear behind a lamp post." "You ever use a belt just to keep your organs in place?" "I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!" "You’re so skinny, your reflection has more weight than you." "You're so thin, if you had a sesame seed on your head, you'd look like a pushpin." "You're so skinny, if you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, you would look like a zipper." "You're so thin, you have to wear skis in the shower." "You're so skinny, you can see out of a peephole with both eyes." "You’re so skinny, you could model for the stick figure emoji." "You’re so skinny, you don’t do push-ups, you just levitate." "You're so thin, you make a toothpick look pregnant." "You're so thin, you could dive through a fence."
Funny Skinny Jokes
Go with something silly to make 'em laugh (even as they're crying). OK, in all seriousness, if any of these roasts make your friends cry, back off, like, immediately. But we suspect these silly jokes will target their extra-pronounced funny bones more than their tear ducts: "You're so skinny, you use ChapStick as deodorant." "You're so skinny, your pants have one belt loop." "You're so skinny, you can grate cheese on your ribs." "You're so skinny, you need a GPS to find your belly button." "You're so skinny, you'd choke on a single strand of spaghetti." "You're so skinny, when you swallowed a meatball people thought you were pregnant." "You're so thin, you could play the part of the staff in the story of Moses." "You're so skinny, I can't even find you in this joke." "You're so skinny, you got hired by a magician because when you turn sideways you disappear." "Your legs are so skinny, you look like a Blow Pop." "You’re so skinny, if you wore camouflage, you’d disappear completely." "You're so skinny, when you shower they have to pull you out of the drain."
Playful Skinny Jokes
These roasts are super lighthearted, for the tenderhearted. Want to just gently roast your friends? (Would that be more of a grill? A stir-fry? A sous vide?) These jokes are just edgy enough to get some laughs without risking (too much) offense: "You're so lanky, you can avoid falling raindrops." "You're so thin, when you wear skinny jeans they look like bell bottoms." "You're so slender, if you ate a Skittle, you'd look eight months pregnant." "You could hula hoop with a Cheerio." "You're so thin, you use BandAids for pillows." "You're so thin, you look like a human bookmark." "You're so thin, if I put you on a flagpole, you'd wave in the wind." "You're so skinny, I can barely see you." "You're so thin, you could travel by email." "You're so skinny, when you wear yellow, you look like a big pencil." "You're so light, people mistake you for a feather." "You gotta run around in the shower just to get wet."
One-Liner Skinny Jokes
Zing your buds with these quick roasts. Zip, zap! Get 'em good with these quick-and-flashy one-liners about being skinny as a toothpick: "You're so skinny, you have to wear a belt with spandex." "You're so skinny, your shadow is jealous of your presence." "You're so skinny, you could play your ribs like a xylophone." "You’re so skinny, your pajamas have only one stripe." "You're so skinny, I could blindfold you with dental floss." "You’re so thin, the wind is your worst enemy." "You're so skinny, your Halloween costume is a string bean." "You're so skinny, if you had a nickel on your head, you'd look like a nail." "You’re so skinny, when you wear striped pajamas, you look like a barcode." "You're so skinny, I mistook you for a crack in the wall." "You're so skinny, when you leave the house you float to heaven." "You're so thin, at Christmas, everyone mistakes you for a candy cane." "You're so thin, if you turn sideways and stick out your tongue, you look like a zipper."
Roasts About Being Short & Skinny
Are they basically teeny-tiny? Get 'em for it. If your friend is not only skinny but also very short, get on their case for being a smol bean with these lighthearted roasts: "You're so small, when the wind blew, it took you with it." "You could hang glide on a Dorito." "I've seen more meat on a chicken than on you." "You're so small, you could fit through a keyhole." "You’re so skinny, you make a toothpick look wide." "Your jeans have more fabric than your whole body." "You’re so tiny, you could limbo under a parking barrier." "Your mom used to lose you in sweaters as a kid, huh?" "You're so tiny, your mom probably enjoyed giving birth." "Oh, I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom, roasted." (This one is courtesy of Michael Scott.)
Is it OK to make jokes about skinny people?
It's usually okay as long as you're mindful of your audience and timing. When it comes to comedy, reading the room is essential. Keep in mind, though, that many people firmly believe it's inappropriate to make comments about someone else's appearance. In order to make sure your jokes land as playful roasts and not painful insults, consider the following: What do you know about your audience's sense of humor? And what do they know about yours? Can you be fairly confident that a playful insult will go over without offense, or do you have reason to suspect the person you're targeting is sensitive about their appearance and/or weight? Remember that some people may have certain medical conditions, including mental health troubles, that could affect their weight. Others may just be insecure about their appearance. If you gauge wrong and the person you're joking with does take offense, no biggie. Stop joking around immediately, and apologize sincerely for the misstep. Who are you with? Are you chatting with a group of strangers, or your closest buds? Even if you're joking around with a friend who knows you mean no harm, if there are other people around who might take what you're saying the wrong way, consider saving your jokes for later. What's the vibe? Are you at a funeral, or a birthday party? At home or at the office? Do a quick vibe check to make sure everyone's in a lighthearted and casual mood before launching into some playful roasts. Can you take a joke? If you're going to dish it, you need to be able to take it, too. The best roasters don't punch down and are willing to make themselves into a target—not just others. If you'd feel uncomfortable or insecure about a joke targeting your appearance, avoid roasting others. EXPERT TIP Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms. Laura Bilotta Laura Bilotta Dating Coach & Matchmaker Avoid joking about topics that could be sensitive or triggering. Be mindful of any signals that the other person may not be comfortable with the humor.
How to Respond When Someone Calls You Skinny
If it was an innocent comment, consider letting them know how you feel. It's a fatphobic world we live in, so some people automatically assume that when they refer to someone else as "skinny," it's NBD, or even a compliment. But for many thin folks, the word can hurt! If you suspect someone called you "skinny" without any malice, consider opening up about how the word makes you feel, and letting them know you'd appreciate it if they didn't use it again. "Hey Jerome, I don't believe you meant any harm at all when you called me 'skinny' earlier, but I just wanted to let you know, it actually bothers me when people call me that. It makes me feel a little insecure about my appearance, or like I'm being judged. I'd appreciate it if you didn't do it anymore."
Respond with a lighthearted comment and redirect the conversation. If you don't feel like engaging with them about how the comment made you feel, try offering up a neutral response, and then redirecting the convo toward a new subject. For instance: "Yeah, I've been running more and eating better lately. How about you? Do you like jogging?" "I guess I was just made this way. I've always had a fast metabolism. Anyway, there’s a new Marvel out that’s supposed to be nuts. We should go see that!"
If they offer a playful roast, consider roasting them back. If a bud roasts you with the classic, "You've got chicken legs," why not return the favor? Crack a lighthearted joke about their appearance. If they're skinny, use any of the roasts listed above; if they're on the heavier side, try one of these: "You're so huge, when you went to school, you sat next to everybody." "If hot air makes a balloon go up, what's keeping you down?" "An origami crane has fewer folds than you do." Remember, if they cracked a joke first, it should indicate they're prepared to be roasted back. But if they take offense, it's best to apologize for going too far and agree to a moratorium on appearance-related jokes.
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