- The opposites of empaths are personalities that lack empathy: narcissists, sociopaths/psychopaths, Machiavellians, and dark empaths.
- Whereas an empath feels a deep need to take care of others, opposites of empaths can be manipulative, self-centered, and belittling towards others.
- Empaths in relationships with people lacking empathy can make it work by setting boundaries and maintaining a support system outside the relationship.
What are the opposites of an empath?
Narcissists Narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is a mental health condition that causes a person to see themselves as superior to and more important than others. Narcissism is often thought to be the main opposite of an empath. Unlike an empath, narcissists often have difficulty understanding why others feel and act the way they do, and they may not be able to easily recognize when they’ve hurt someone. In identifying a narcissist, their behaviors are often described as being dramatic and exaggerated, emotional and intense, and erratic and unpredictable. In many cases, people with NPD suffer from low self-esteem, which leads them to push their wants and needs ahead of others and seek out attention and admiration. This may cause them to also be very sensitive to criticism.
Sociopaths and Psychopaths Psychopathy and sociopathy are two different terms for the mental health condition known as anti-social personality disorder (ASPD). People identified as having ASPD are often characterized as showing little regard for right and wrong, ignoring the feelings of others, manipulating others to get what they want, and even acting violently. Opposite to an empath, a person with ASPD usually doesn’t feel any guilt or remorse when they hurt someone. Other behaviors of sociopaths/psychopaths include: Lying in order to take advantage of others Having problems with the law Being hostile or violent toward other people Acting impulsively and engaging in dangerous behaviors with little or no regard for their safety or the safety of others Being irresponsible with work or financial responsibilities
Machiavellians Someone with a Machiavellian personality has no qualms about manipulating others to get what they want. They will often use exploitation and deception to get their desired results and often feel guilty if they end up hurting people in the process. Many are described as lacking emotions and empathy, so they don’t often care about how their actions might impact others. Unlike narcissists, someone with a Machiavellian personality doesn’t strive to be the center of attention. The 16th-century philosopher Niccoló Machiavelli wrote a manifesto entitled “The Prince,” where he stated that deception, cunning-ness, and wickedness are more important in politics than virtue or morality. This gave birth to the term “Machiavellian.”
Dark empaths A dark empath is often able to recognize people’s deeper emotions like an empath can, but they are more likely to use this ability to manipulate others to get what they want. They can identify what hardships people are going through, but they often won’t feel any sympathy or desire to help them. A dark empath possess similar traits as narcissists, psychopaths, and Machiavellians, which make up the “dark triad.” This is a trio of negative personalities that share similar traits, such as an inflated view of themselves and a disregard for how their actions affect others. Unlike most cases in the dark triad, dark empaths are often able to empathize with others but will use this empathy for their personal gain.
Signs Someone is the Opposite of an Empath
Lack of empathy This is the biggest thing that sets narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellians, and dark empaths apart from empaths. In general, it’s a feeling of indifference towards others’ feelings, though each personality may differ in their abilities to recognize and perceive other people’s pain. Some aren’t able to recognize at all when another person is feeling hurt. On the other hand, others may be able to recognize a person’s pain, but they likely won’t take action to help that person. Even if they caused someone’s pain, they may not feel remorse or guilt for their actions.
Inflated sense of self Someone who is the opposite of an empath will often think that the world revolves around them and that they’re much better than everyone else. They will usually expect to be regarded as “the best,” even if they’ve done absolutely nothing to earn such a title. They might even lie about their achievements in order to make themself look better. They might even construct an entire fantasy world where they’re at the very center. They may delude themself into believing that everyone admires them and they have unlimited power, success, and attractiveness.
Emotionally manipulative While an empath will often try to comfort and help someone who’s in pain or having a hard time, an empath’s opposite might use tactics that manipulate a person’s emotions and thoughts in order to get what they want. This is especially true for dark empaths, who are able to read others’ emotions but usually have little desire to help them. Types of emotional manipulation include: Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their memories or perceptions. For example, a dark empath might gaslight someone by saying, “I would never hurt you. You’re probably just stressed and aren’t thinking straight.” Making the other person feel guilty: Causing a person to think that their actions are harming someone when they’re really not. An example would be saying something like, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t leave me.” Threatening: Making someone feel afraid so that they’ll do what another person wants. For example, someone might threaten another person by saying, “If you don’t want everyone to know your secret, you’ll do as I say.”
Vindictive behaviors The counterpart to an empath may turn to revenge when things don’t go their way or when someone has wronged them. Gossiping, bullying, and intimidating other people are all behaviors they may use in order to get what they want. For example, they might spread a false rumor about someone to isolate that person from their friends and make them feel alone. This type of behavior can sometimes be seen in narcissists, who might seek revenge when they feel they’ve been rejected or surpassed by someone. For example, a vindictive narcissist might try to sabotage their coworker's project after their coworker got the promotion that they were after.
Belittling Someone who’s the opposite of an empath might specifically target their victim’s insecurities and personal issues in order to manipulate them or simply make them feel bad about themselves. For example, they may say something like, “That’s a nice shirt. I bet you’ll be happy when you lose those 50 pounds so that it fits more comfortably.”
Thinking they’re better than everyone Empath opposites tend to feel like they are superior to others and might see themselves as unstoppable and untouchable. This can cause them to act with very little regard for other people’s feelings or well-being. For example, they may not feel guilty about using someone to get something they want since they probably view that other person as inferior. They might also feel that they are superior to the law and engage in criminal behavior.
Need for constant praise A narcissist will constantly seek out praise and approval from the people around them. Their inflated sense of self often makes them crave attention, though they’re often only ever concerned with receiving praise and not giving it. If someone doesn’t praise them, a narcissist might view that as an act of betrayal.
Difficulty maintaining relationships Due to their darker traits, such as being emotionally manipulative or abusive, viewing themselves as superior to others, and overall having a lack of empathy, narcissist and other opposites of empaths often have difficulty when it comes to friendships and relationships. It may be that they purposefully drive away potential friends or partners when they’re not satisfied with what they’re receiving, or others may simply not know how to deal with such behavior.
What is an empath?
Empaths deeply sense and sympathize with other people's feelings. An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and often feels those emotions as though they’re their own. For example, they may feel really excited when their friend is happy, even if they themselves aren’t doing too well. People usually think of empaths as very sensitive and caring. Some signs of empaths include: Absorbing other people’s emotions and stress Becoming overwhelmed by lots of stimuli and multi-tasking Being able to accurately pick up on someone’s emotions based on their facial expressions or body language Becoming anxious or ill when others yell or give off a lot of negative emotions Being empathetic and being an empath are two different things. For example, while someone who is empathetic might be able to understand a person’s difficult situation with compassion, an empath might feel another person’s pain as though it’s their own. Empaths can differ greatly in how intensely they feel others’ emotions. For example, some may simply be more aware of others’ emotions and want to help others and give support. Others may even put themselves in harm’s way to protect someone.
What are empath-narcissist relationships like?
Narcissists view empaths as an easy opportunity to get their needs met. While narcissists and empaths might seem like total opposites in certain regards, it’s not as uncommon as you’d think to find them together in a relationship, both romantic and platonic. Empaths are very open and attentive to other people’s emotions and needs, and narcissists might see this as a golden opportunity to get what they want without putting in a lot of effort. Empaths might view narcissists as people they can help and take care of, and narcissists will accept that care because they enjoy receiving attention.
A narcissist may play the victim and take advantage of an empath. A narcissist is often prone to manipulating others’ emotions in order to get what they want. Since empaths are more highly attuned to others’ emotions and more likely to step in and do what they can to help, they may end up falling for a narcissist’s tricks. If this continues, an empath might find it increasingly harder to break off the relationship, even if it’s turning toxic. For example, a narcissist might claim that their partner no longer loves them in order to get the empath to focus even more of their attention on them. An empath might hold onto hope that their partner will change if they work hard enough, which may be a big reason that they stay in the relationship.
Both partners’ low self-esteem can create a toxic relationship. Empaths might focus too much on others and thus have low self-esteem because of it. Narcissists, on the other hand, tend to cover up their low self-esteem by seeking attention and making everything about them. Oftentimes, narcissists will project these negative feelings onto their partner by saying degrading comments or being passive-aggressive. Since empaths absorb other people’s emotions so easily, this can be detrimental to their own feelings of self-worth. Some examples of narcissistic projecting include: Accusing their partner of only thinking of themselves when they share a problem. Getting defensive when their partner points out something hurtful they said. For example, a narcissist might say something like, “I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something like that. Do you even care about my feelings?” Pointing out their partner’s mistakes unnecessarily. For example, a narcissist might say, “This place is a mess. You didn’t do any cleaning while I was gone?” when they themselves haven’t helped around the house in a long time.
Creating healthy boundaries can help an empath avoid being hurt. While such a relationship has a reputation for becoming toxic, there are ways that an empath and narcissist can stay together in a healthy way. An important step is for both people to create clear boundaries and say “no” to things that make them uncomfortable. Some examples include: Agreeing to spend a certain amount of time alone each week Keeping personal information private, such as information about personal finances, passwords, or information about their family Agreeing to call out someone when they make a negative comment
Maintaining a support system can help both parties communicate. Cultivating a circle of supportive people outside of the relationship is extremely important. If both people feel that they can’t yet communicate efficiently with their partner, they may benefit from talking with friends or family and getting outside opinions. Another option is to talk to a therapist or attend couples therapy and get help from a professional.
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