What Is Aesthetic Attraction and What Does It Feel Like?

• Aesthetic attraction occurs when you find someone’s physical appearance attractive. However, it usually doesn’t involve feelings of romantic or sexual attraction.
• Feeling aesthetically attracted to someone often means you find specific parts of them attractive, such as their hairstyle, makeup, fashion, or physique.
• If you feel aesthetically attracted to someone, you might feel content just looking at them and admiring their beauty rather than being physically close to them.

What is aesthetic attraction?

Aesthetic attraction is a strong appreciation for someone’s appearance. If you feel aesthetically attracted to someone, it often means that you’re interested in their physical looks and beauty. Many consider aesthetic attraction to be separate from romantic and sexual attraction. If you find someone aesthetically attractive, you might find things like their overall physique, fashion, tattoos, or hairstyle aesthetically pleasing but not necessarily feel a desire to be involved with them sexually or romantically. Aesthetic attraction often isn’t limited by a person’s sexuality. For example, even if you’re not sexually or romantically attracted to the same gender, you can still find someone of the same gender aesthetically attractive. Aesthetic attraction and the feelings associated with it is often closely tied to the asexual and aromantic communities. People who are asexual or aromantic often don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction respectively, but they can still feel other types of attraction, such as aesthetic attraction.

Signs You’re Feeling Aesthetic Attraction

You think people are good-looking but don’t feel sexual attraction. In other words, you might find someone to be really pretty or handsome, but you may not feel a desire to be sexually or romantically involved with them. This is a fairly common experience for people who feel aseptically attracted to others. Just because you think they’re good-looking doesn’t mean you’ll automatically want to have sex or be in a relationship with them. Has this ever happened to you? You tell your friends that you think someone is good-looking and they automatically reply with, “Ooh, so you have a crush on them?” If you felt confused at their response, it might be because you only felt aesthetic attraction for the person and not sexual or romantic attraction.

You appreciate specific features that make someone attractive to you. Just like how you might pick out certain features of a painting you think is aesthetically pleasing, you might find yourself doing the same thing with people. For example, you might find yourself fixating on someone’s hairstyle, fashion, tattoos, or piercings because you think they’re attractive.

You get excited when you see the person you’re attracted to. Even if you don’t get to talk to the person you’re attracted to or interact with them that much, you might still feel excited and get a rush of energy just from seeing them. In fact, you might be totally content with just looking at them rather than actually talking to them.

A person’s attractiveness and beauty inspires you. Have you ever been hit with a wave of inspiration after admiring a beautiful piece of art? The same can happen when you feel aesthetically attracted to someone. Seeing their beauty might inspire you to want to draw or paint them, or maybe write a poem or story about them. You might also be inspired by their style and want to change your own style to be more like them. This desire to emulate a person’s style is slightly different from the concept of gender envy. Gender envy is a term used mainly by people in the transgender community and describes a feeling of jealousy someone might feel toward another person’s expression of gender. On the other hand, aesthetic attraction is more about simply appreciating and marveling at another person’s physical appearance.

You want to spend a lot of time with the person you’re attracted to. If you find someone aesthetically attractive, you might feel a desire to spend as much time as possible with them so that you can continue to admire them. It’s like looking at a beautiful sunset—you may simply find it difficult to look away.

You constantly want to look at the person you’re attracted to. Looking at pictures of them, scrolling through their social media, and daydreaming about them are all signs you might be feeling aesthetic attraction toward someone. For example, if you think a certain celebrity is really aesthetically attractive, you might spend a lot of time going through their social media and watching videos of them.

Aesthetic Attraction vs. Other Attraction Types

Sexual attraction If you feel sexually attracted to someone, it usually means you feel a desire to have sex with them. Aesthetic attraction, on the other hand, is simply a feeling of appreciation for someone’s physical beauty and doesn’t necessarily involve any feelings of sexual desire. In some cases, aesthetic attraction can lead to sexual attraction. For example, you might find someone to be good-looking, then develop feelings of sexual attraction as you get to know them. For many people, aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are closely linked together, especially if they feel sexually aroused when looking at someone they consider to be aesthetically attractive.

Romantic attraction Feeling romantically attracted to someone often means you want to be involved in a romantic relationship with them. For example, you might want to date them or be more physically intimate with them. Aesthetic attraction doesn’t guarantee you’ll also feel romantically attracted to a person. With aesthetic attraction, it’s more about admiring a person’s appearance rather than wanting to be in a relationship with them. Of course, aesthetic attraction can lead to romantic attraction, or you might feel both aesthetic and romantic attraction simultaneously toward a certain person.

Physical attraction Also known as sensual attraction, physical attraction is the desire to touch or be physically close to someone, often in a non-sexual way. If you’re physically attracted to someone, you might feel a strong desire to hold their hand, cuddle with them, or hug them. Where physical attraction is mostly about touch and physical closeness, aesthetic attraction is more about admiring and appreciating a person. Even if you find someone to be aesthetically attractive, that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be physically close to them. You might be content just admiring them from afar.

Platonic attraction This is a type of attraction you might feel toward someone you really want to be friends with. In most cases, platonic attraction doesn’t involve sexual or romantic attraction and is more about wanting to form a close bond with someone. Just like other types of attraction, you might experience platonic and aesthetic attraction simultaneously. For example, you might want to be friends with someone whose sense of style you admire.

Emotional attraction This is a desire to connect with someone on an emotional level. Emotional attraction is similar to aesthetic attraction in that you can feel this type of attraction toward a wide variety of people, not just someone you’re in a relationship with. When you feel emotionally attracted to someone, you often feel a desire to share your feelings and experiences with them and listen to their own unique emotional experiences. For example, you might feel emotional attraction toward a friend who you feel comfortable telling all of your secrets and worries to. Neither emotional nor aesthetic attraction imply sexual or romantic attraction, though they can certainly lead in that direction depending on the situation.

Intellectual attraction This is the desire to interact with someone on an intellectual level, often through deep discussions or debates. You might enjoy discussing a wide variety of topics with a person you feel intellectually attracted to or find it interesting to be challenged by their opinions. While aesthetic attraction is more about physical appearance rather than intellect, both attraction types are similar in that they usually involve a sense of admiration for another person. For example, you may feel intellectually attracted to someone you think is really smart and who you admire for their unique way of thinking.

Tertiary attraction Tertiary attraction is an umbrella term that includes all types of attraction that can’t strictly be categorized as romantic or sexual attraction. Aesthetic attraction is included in this category along with platonic attraction, physical/sensual attraction, intellectual attraction, and emotional attraction.

Key Takeaways

Aesthetic attraction is admiration for someone’s physical looks. Rather than feeling attracted to someone in a sexual or romantic way, aesthetic attraction is all about being drawn to a person because of their aesthetic beauty. With aesthetic attraction, it’s totally normal to just want to admire someone’s beauty rather than wanting to be sexually intimate or start a relationship. That’s just one way you might be attracted to someone. Learning about aesthetic attraction and what it can feel like might be helpful if you’re exploring your feelings of attraction toward other people. It’s important to remember that there’s more than one way you can feel drawn to another person.