How to Talk Your Parents into Letting You Have Multiple Piercings

Preparing to Talk

Write down a list of your talking points. Without a plan to keep on track, your emotions can easily get the best of you and launch you into an argument. Take some time to write down the three or four most important things you want to say. Look over this list during the conversation to keep on-track. Remember: "I just want it!" is not a compelling point.

Prepare yourself for questions they might ask. Most likely, your parents will have questions. Even if they're accepting from the start, they may want to know who's giving you the piercing or what care is involved while the piercing heals. Having all necessary information will show them that you've thought about this and are responsible.

Wait until the right time to ask. Find a time when your parents are happy and comfortable to start the conversation. The week rent is due, for example, your parents will probably be stressed and less open-minded. You and your parents will both be in the best mindset if relaxed. While you can give your parents a letter or text asking for their permission, a conversation will be most convincing. If you can, have the conversation in-person.

Having the Conversation

Ask your parents to talk, when the time is right. Bringing your question up on a whim might not give you enough time to talk. Invite your parents to have a formal conversation. Your parents will see how serious this is for you, as well as how much you value their decision. If they say now isn't an ideal time, set up a scheduled conversation with them later on. You could say, for example, "Hey, Mom and Dad. I have a question for both of you. If you're not busy, can we talk tonight at around seven?"

Explain to your parents what you want and why. Look through your notes and pick one of your strongest talking points. Tell them how much you loved your first piercing and how you've thought about getting a second. Let them know how much your respect their authority, and ask them what their opinion is. A sample conversation could look like: "Mom and Dad, remember how I got my ears pierced last December? Well, I want to get my upper ear pierced, too. I think upper ear piercings look really stylish and are low-maintenance to take care of. The last thing I want to do is get pierced without your permission. What do you think?" EXPERT TIP Stephanie Anders Stephanie Anders Piercing Specialist Stephanie Anders is a jeweler and piercer based in Los Angeles, California. With over 10 years of piercing experience, Stephanie opened her first tattoo and piercing studio in 2016. With her experience in the body piercing industry and creative passion for fine jewelry, she later founded SXO Studios and created a fine jewelry line that is safe for piercing. Stephanie has also traveled and worked with clients all over the world, with her client list including such stars as Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Richie, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Sharon Osbourne. Stephanie Anders Stephanie Anders Piercing Specialist Bring your parents as much information and research as you can. Your parents are more likely to take you seriously if you give them all the information. Explain why you want the piercing, what you want to wear in the piercing, what the risks involved are, and what the normal procedure and healing process is. Make sure you stay level-headed while you lay out the facts.

Validate their argument. Your parents, especially if they dislike piercings, might have a perspective opposite of your own. Don't launch into a yelling match. Instead, listen to them. Let them know what points of theirs you agree with, and show them that you understand their point. Bring up your own points in response with a level and empathetic head. If they say tongue piercings get infected easily, for example, you could say, "Thanks for thinking of my safety. I know that tongue piercings are harder to take care of, but I've taken care of my earrings for two years with no infection. Plus, I looked up proper tongue ring care for the first six months."

Make a compromise, if your parents are hesitant. Even after explaining your points, your parents still might feel wary about multiple piercings. Maybe they feel like piercings are expensive, or maybe they don't agree with where you want a piercing. Try to meet them in the middle and find a resolution that works for both sides. If they're worried about the money, for example, offer to do chores around the house or babysit for the neighbors. Remember to keep your end of the bargain. If you forget, your parents may judge you as irresponsible.

Stay calm and respectful. Even if you don't agree with your parents' decision, don't raise your voice or insult them. In most cases, your parents have your best interest in mind. If the conversation gets to heated, ask your parents if you can resume talking about it at another time. When you and your parents are upset, neither side is going to listen. Actions are just as important as words. Avoid rolling your eyes, scowling, or shaking your head at your parents.

Responding to Negative Answers

Give them time to decide. Your parents may not reach a decision during the conversation. Maybe they need time to talk alone, or maybe they haven't yet gathered their thoughts. If this is the case, thank them for listening to you and ask them to let you know what they choose. Don't pressure them for an answer before they're ready.

Accept their choice. Even if their decision doesn't align with your wants, your parents still have authority over you. Avoid getting overly upset or lashing out at them for their decision. Be kind to them and show them that you're mature. They might be more lenient when you're older.

See the situation from your parents' perspective. You might feel like they're being unreasonable, but maybe they grew up in a culture where piercings are rebellious. Think about who your parents are and why they made their choice. You might just gain empathy for their decision. You might even agree with their perspective a little, if you understand it. If your ear piercings have a history of serious infections, for example, your body might not respond well to a second piercing.

Wait until you're an adult. Until you're eighteen, your parents have guardianship over you. You can choose what piercings you have and where when you're an adult. Keep this in mind when you feel upset, and think about all the piercings you'll get someday. Until then, have fun with the piercing you already have and read up about future piercings. No doesn't always mean no forever. If your fourteen, for example, your parents might want you to wait until you're sixteen.